self

i can’t get the dirt out from under my fingernails,
can’t tell if i’m sweating or crying.
the gaping jaws of the question split the earth in front of me
but i keep digging,
keep spiraling down
down
down
into a labyrinth of ugly truths
where there’s no one to sand down the edges into a smooth lie.
it’s so easy to get lost in the grit of it all
and i’m beginning to realise that the only thing i like about myself
is you.
because i dig
and i dig
and i dig
and i find you
right here with me in the mess.
it’s always you.

-By Ellen Vigus

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