a plea

i want to be alive when i see you again
again?
life and reality blur
i can no longer tell which way is up
which road i am on
which world i am living in

i slam
my hand against the box
wood splinters under my fingernails
but the lock, a clenched fist
and every time i try without you
another nail
another nail

i’ve always been afraid of the ocean
it should be blue, but it’s black
an inky abyss of shadows
the taste of sugar on my tongue, wrong
my feet on the sand, the crowd

the sky told me i would win
but right now everything is black
the ocean could not wash my bleached hands
my throat cracks from too many restless nights
i ask the sky
‘please’
‘please’

the answer?
it cascades through me like an avalanche
the sun splits the darkness
and for a single moment
everything sharpens into reality
your eyes are twin flames
telling me
“don’t be afraid.”

the rain pours down

and i let it wash away
everything that i’ve
become

One thought on “a plea

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